Living with an alcoholic? Here's Hope for Those Who Live With Alcoholics © Chris
Bloor
I spent 23 years of my life helping alcoholics and their families to break free from the snares of alcoholism. One
thing I noticed is that people who live with an alcoholic often have terrible self esteem.
This is often caused by misplaced feelings of guilt and shame.
You see, illogical as it may seem, they blame themselves for their alcoholic husband or wife's addiction to
alcohol.
This is often on a sub-conscious level but it affects almost every area of their life.
The first step in restoring your self esteem is to realize that it is their choice to drink - not yours.
The next step is to stop once and for all 'Taking Responsibility' for their actions and 'Shielding' them from the
consequences of their poor lifestyle choices. Until you do that - NOTHING changes.
You need to 'draw a line in the sand' and say to yourself:
"Enough is enough! From TODAY onwards I will no longer..."
-
Shield
-
Lie
-
Make Excuses
-
Ignore
-
Or deny
Their alcoholism!
That means if they are late for work because of a night on the tiles, you won't call their boss and lie for
them.
If they ask you to do anything that goes against your conscience, politely but firmly refuse.
And if your alcoholic spouse is abusing you:
===> Physically
===> Emotionally
===> Verbally
===> Sexually
You need to take immediate action. You need to tell them that you are no longer willing to suffer such behavior.
Don't suggest - rather INSIST that they seek help to deal with their issues or you will move out
until they do.
NOTE: If they are violent, get help and move out first and then tell them by mail or by way of a
restraining order.
I can almost hear your mind saying "But Chris - that is so hard!"
True.
But how does it stack up compared to being a human punching bag...?
How does it stack up compared to raising your kids in an environment of fear with zero
stability or confidence... and them ending up emotional basket cases because nobody actually did anything?
Doesn't look so bad after all does it?
Shocking Fact: You need to start thinking about yourself! Don't allow your alcoholic spouse to
ruin your life.
I'm not saying to give up on them. Never! You should always encourage, pray for and do your best to show your love
for your spouse but not at the expense of standing by and doing nothing whilst they drag you down with
them!
Because you can NEVER help them (or anyone else) by being a victim. One of you has to start doing things
differently.
In part two of this article, I'll give you some more simple action steps...
by Chris Bloor -
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Chris Bloor is the Author of Help! I Live With An Alcoholic and Helps Those Living With An Alcoholic Find Help You Can Read the First Chapter of His Book
For Free at http://www.ILiveWithAnAlcoholic.com
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Living With An Alcoholic
